By Emma Houldershaw & Samantha Cartwright
Adapted from Hans Christian Andersen’s classic tale, this is an entirely original version of The Snow Queen which has been adapted for pantomime, with Principal Boy and Girl, Dame, comedy duo Jingle & Jangle, and three Wise Witches, plus an Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy and Sandman.
Plot Summary
The land of Norderdell is under the spell of the Snow Queen. When her brother Kai is stricken by a sliver of the Queen’s evil mirror, Greta embarks on a journey to rescue him, and on her quest she is helped by various oddball characters: Batty Bridget the Dame, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and the Sandman. The Snow Queen gives her the chance of saving Kai if she will procure for her the magical Dark Oracle Orb, which is safeguarded by the weird Witches.
CAST
Greta, Kai , Batty Bridget , The Snow Queen, Easter Bunny, Jingle & Jangle, Glitter Dewberry, Sandman, Jack Frost, Bobgoblin, The Three Wise Witches, See No, Hear No, and Speak No, Chorus & Yeti
Scene – the Snow Queen’s palace, the Witches’ cave
Time – long ago
An excerpt from The Snow Queen
ACT 1
Scene 1
Long, Long Ago – Narrated by voiceover and music. Performed in silence, in front of blacks, no scenery necessary. Or if using a pre-recorded projection, a white gauze across the stage to project onto.
Voiceover Once upon a time in a land far, far north, there lived a young girl named Elin. Her days were filled with fun and laughter, her dreams were full of hope. She was much like any other young girl, except for one thing. Elin had magic, so powerful, that she dare not tell another living soul of it, it was her deepest secret that she kept close to her heart. One day whilst out picking flowers, she met a young boy, named Henrik, they became friends and were soon inseparable. Elin was a beautiful girl but never understood her true beauty, Henrik gave her a mirror so that she would always be able to see what others see. As the years passed their friendship bloomed into romance and Elin had never been happier. They would meet every day at the blossom tree and talk until the sun went down. Elin had found her true love and the first person she would open up to. She told him of her magic and he promised, it would forever stay between the two of them. But it was not to be. The very next day, Henrik sold her secret to the King. He would capture Elin and hand her over to the King in exchange for becoming the Heir to the throne. The King, having no sons of his own and being a greedy and power obsessed man, quickly agreed. Elin was waiting for Henrik at the blossom tree when the ambush arrived. Elin was confused, why were they here? How did they know of her powers? Then she saw him, her true love, she had been betrayed.
Elin had never realised the true extent of her powers until this moment, she broke free and let her wrath be known, the villagers and the King fled but Henrik had been struck by her icy blast. Her one true love lay lifeless before her. It had taken her years to build up the trust to confide in him and in one instant, he had betrayed her. The pain of her broken heart erupted her powers once more and she vowed that no one would ever see her true beauty or anyone else’s true beauty again. She took the mirror, and shattered it into a billion pieces and threw them into the atmosphere cursing each piece. If ever a piece was to land in your eye, you would only see the bad in everything. Her heart was now as cold as ice, as too, was the entire land. Elin fled and has never been seen since, but her legend lives on and she was forever more known as The Snow Queen.
Curtains closes, projection of speeded up time moving forward, and short reprise of overture.
Scene 2
The village of Norderdell – Snowy countryside back cloth, 2 x market stalls – 1 upstage left and 1 upstage right, one selling chestnuts, the other hats, scarves and gloves, a snowman downstage left, pickable flowers downstage right All chorus, Kai and Greta, snow covered and all dressed in wintery clothes
Song 1
Kai picks up a snowball and throws it at Greta
Greta Ugh Kai, I’m gonna to get you for tha. (She picks up a snowball, he runs amongst the chorus)
Kai No chance.
Greta Wanna bet?
Chorus react, having fun
Chorus 1 Duck! (She ducks and the snowball hits chorus 2 behind)
Chorus 2 Hey, watch out!
Greta Sorry, that wasn’t meant for you. (Chorus 2 picks up a snow ball and throws it at Greta, who ducks and it hits chorus 3 behind, who picks up a snow ball, chorus all joining in with the snowball fight, Greta faces audience and ducks out of it) Oops look what I’ve started. I’m Greta and that joker over there is my brother Kai. We live here in Norderdell, where it’s always winter, has been as long as I can remember, but that’s ok, the Cold never bothered me anyway. It wasn’t always that way, legend has it we used to have seasons like everywhere else, but the Snow Queen put a curse on the village.
Kai Yeah yeah, You talking about the Snow Queen again? C’mon Greta, it’s nonsense, it’s just a fairy tale.
Greta How do you know it’s not true? Batty Bridget says it is and she was there. (Bridget enters and walks towards them behind Kai, Greta can see her)
Kai Of course she was there, she must be about 200 years old.
Greta That’s a bit harsh, I don’t think she looks that old.
Kai She’s so old, when she walked out of the museum, the alarm went off.
Greta Oh Kai, stop being so mean about poor Bridget. (Said in a way that’s egging him on)
Kai She’s so old, her birth certificate says ‘expired’.
Bridget What was that?
Kai Oh nothing, I just said, it’s really cold and I’m tired.
Bridget I’ve been looking for you two, where’s my rent?
Greta Er, um, er, we are going to pay it, it’s just…
Bridget Let me guess, the cheque’s in the post?
Greta No, I was going to say…
Bridget I’ll get it by the end of the week?
Greta You will, I promise.
Bridget I’ve heard it all before, I want the rent by the end of the day or you’re out, this is the last straw.
Greta We’re doing our best.
Kai (protecting Greta) You don’t need to speak to my sister like that, you’ll get your rent money, I’ll make sure of it, I always do. C’mon Greta. (He puts his arm around her to comfort her and they exit)
Bridget Anyone else here owe me rent? (Said to the chorus who all look a bit sheepish and exit) (to audience) What about you lot? Have you all paid to be here? Good, cos that money will all come to me, it’s expensive keeping me in the designer clothes, I’m accustomed to, that’s why I need that rent money, it’s all very sad them being orphans but Versace’s new line comes out tomorrow and I want my money. I’m an independent woman, I don’t need men, I mean marriage is grand but divorce is ten grand (she laughs) I’ve been married sixteen times, four richer, four poorer, four better, four worse. My first husband thought I should be more affectionate, so I got myself a couple of boyfriends. Got to go, doing lunch with Kardashian sisters, I’m practically one of them. Aren’t I fabulous? (audience shout no, Oh yes I am etc) Oh Shut up (audience boo and she exits)
Kai and Greta enter, looking around to check Bridget has gone
Kai (to audience) Has she gone? (they reply yes) C’mon Greta, the coast is clear.
Greta What are we going to do Kai? We can’t avoid her forever, where are we going to get the money?
Kai Don’t worry, I’m this close to getting a job, once I’m bringing money in, Old Batty Bridget will leave us alone once and for all.
Greta Oh Kai, I do hope you’re right.
Kai Course I’m right, you’ll see. When have I ever let you down?
Greta Never, I don’t know what I’d do without you.
Kai Ow, look at you getting all sentimental, you better stop, I’m getting totes emosh. (He is taking the mic out of her and pushes her)
Greta You always have to spoil the moment, don’t you?
Kai I know what will cheer you up. (He picks up a snow ball and throws it in her face)
Greta KAI! I only just got dry from the last one.
Kai Sorry sis, you know I love you really. I even got you a present.
Greta Really?
Kai Close your eyes, (she does, he looks around for something he could give, finds some flowers) no peeking. Da dah!
Greta You so just picked those from over there.
Kai No I didn’t, I had them the whole time.
Greta Either way, thank you, they’re lovely.
Leaves blow across the stage and wind sound effect, Kai and Greta, spin around as if being blown, both shout
Kai Ow, I’ve got something in my eye.
Greta Are you Ok Kai? Let me have a look. (As he moves his hand out of the way and opens his eyes, his whole
demeanour changes instantly)
Kai Get off, don’t touch me.
Greta Just let me have a look, I might be able to get it out.
Kai I said don’t touch me.
Greta Kai, what’s the matter with you?
Kai More like what’s the matter with you? Go on, get away from me you ugly old witch.
Greta What do you mean?
Kai You’re revolting, you’ve got warts on your nose and rotting teeth (she is touching her face and very confused) and keep those weeds away from me, they’re covered in spiders.
Greta My flowers? You just gave them to me.
Kai Why would I give you flowers? I don’t even know you. You’re disgusting.
Greta Kai, what’s got into you? It’s me, Greta, your sister.
Kai I said don’t come near me. As far as I’m concerned, I don’t have a sister.
Greta Oh Kai. How could you? (She runs sr off crying)
Kai (He is glumly walking around the stage, kicking things and muttering) Stupid girl, what does she know? I hate this wretched town, and everything in it
Snow Queen enters through the audience, wintery sound effect, she stands on the stage calmly looking at Kai, he stares at her, they pause, staring at each other
Kai What?
Snow Charmed, I’m sure. What is your name child?
Kai The name’s Kai, and I’m not a child, I’m nearly seventeen.
Snow (She laughs) Seventeen, why, you’re practically a man.
Kai Yeah, yeah I am (he stands up taller and is slightly defensive).
Snow Of course you are, you’re just what I’m looking for.
Kai What do you mean, looking for?
Snow I want you to come with me to my Ice Palace and be my slave.
Kai Yeah right, (he laughs, she is still very calm and composed) as if I’m going to do that.
Snow Unfortunately you don’t have a choice (she starts circling him), you see, you now have a fragment of my enchanted mirror in your eye, your heart, as we speak, is turning to ice. (Bridget enters and watches from the back a bit scared) Your thoughts are darkened, anything that you saw as good, you now see as bad, and while that mirror is still in your eye, you belong to me and you will come with me to my palace.
Kai Never, nobody tells me what to do.
Snow We’ll see. (She does a spell and there is a sound effect, she turns and exits, he follows, he is not in a trance, he goes willingly)
Bridget comes forward
Bridget (To audience) Did you see that? Did you just see what I just saw? Her dress is so last season. You wouldn’t want to mess with her, she’s a magician, she can turn you into a prawn cocktail and that’s just for starters.
Greta enters
Bridget Have you got my rent money?
Greta Have you seen my brother?
Bridget I have actually, the Snow Queen’s got him, she’s taken him to her palace.
Greta What? (To audience) Is this true? (Aud respond) Did you see it? What happened? I can’t hear you. You’re not making any sense. Why did she take Kai? Why my brother?
Bridget (To audience) STOP! This is torture. What they are trying to say, is that he’s got a piece of the enchanted mirror in his eye.
Greta So the legend really is true, that’s why he was so mean to me earlier. Poor Kai, he’s under her spell, what shall I do?
Bridget You? Seriously, what are you going to be able to do?
Greta I don’t know, if only Kai were here to tell me what to do. What would he do? He would help me no matter what. I have to rescue him.
Bridget Guess that’s the last we’ll see of Kai then (realising), and my rent money. You’re right, we have to rescue him.
Greta You’re coming with me?
Bridget Too right I am, I’m not letting both of you slip through my fingers.
Greta Let’s go then (goes to run off).
Bridget Clearly, you have never been on a rescue mission. How far do you think you’ll get if you head off all gung hoe.
Greta You’re right, we need supplies, I’ll meet you back here. (She exits)
Bridget This will be a barrel of laughs, about as much fun as Primark on a Saturday. Still, you never know, I might get lucky and meet another man of my dreams, I’ve got no competition travelling with that ugly, scrawny Greta. I’m clearly the most beautiful, wouldn’t you agree? (Audience shout No) Oh yes I am (etc) Oh shut up you lot, what would you know? You’re about as stylish as half the population of Stevenage. Yes I would be nice to meet a new man or in other words, my next divorce payout (she laughs). Can you guess what my favourite thing on a man is? Six inches long, two inches wide and drives me wild….A fifty pound note. You know why money’s called dough? Because we all knead it. (Burst of Abba, Money, Money, Money played and dame mimes and dances to it) Aren’t I fabulous? (audience react) Oh yes I am… I hate you (aud boo).
Greta enters with villagers
Greta I’m ready, well, as ready as I’ll ever be.
Bridget You’re going to have to toughen up if we’ve got any chance of getting your brother back, I don’t think this is going to be easy.
Greta I know, and you’re right. I can do this, I will do this, he’s my brother.
Song 2
Curtains close