By Richard Boon
Synopsis
Dick Winston comes to London in search of fame with his sister Kat, they meet a host of colourful characters including Fabian De Wolf, an ageing Rock star desperately clinging onto the top spot. The Vermin Girls, a girl group with a nasty side. Will Dick Winston make it in London or be forced out? Full of Rock n Roll songs, this Jukebox Musical is loosely based on Dick Whittington.
Cast
5 Male, 6 Female, 3 Male/Female
Characters
Dick Winston, Kat, Fabian De Wolf, Maggie, Fitz, Rosie, Ricky, Belinda, Lucinda, Davina, Ron, Don, Jon, Announcer, chorus of singers, non speaking singing groups
Scenes
The Starlight Rooms, Outside London, Ricky’s Place
An excerpt from It’s Only Rock and Roll
ACT 1
Scene 1
The Final Rehearsal – Autumn Tour. Reds are closed, The announcer enters
Announcer Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage and enjoy the rockin’ sound of The Wolf Pack’
As the Reds open the band play Song 1. Towards the end of the song the backing singers enter. The band play ‘Red River Rock’ as the curtain opens. Towards the end of the mumber the
backing singers enter.
Song 1
Announcer Ladies and gentlemen please put your hands together and welcome to the stage Mr Rock’n ‘Roll himself, the fabulous Fabian DeWolf
Song 2
During the medley various performers enter and exit during their parts of the medley. Backing singers stay on.
At end f the medley all performers take a bow. Fitz, Maggie and Rosemary enter.
Fitz Well done everyone, that was great. Fabian you were fantastic, just like last year.
Rosie …and the year before that. Dad, when are we gonna try some new stuff? You’ve been doin’ the same old numbers for years.
Fitz Yeh, and what’s wrong with that? It works doesn’t it. You find me someone who can pull in the punters like Fabian can, and we`ll talk about it, ok. Maggie what are the ticket sales like?.
Maggie Not good Fitz, pretty poor really, Wimbledon’s down 30%, Watford’s down 20%, Bedford’s down 35%, it`s not lookin` good
Fabian looks shocked and worried and approaches Maggie to check her clipboard, Maggie realises that Fabian is worried
Maggie It’s nothing to do with you Fabian, (she gazes at him lovingly) you’re wonderful, as always
Fabian snatches the clipboard.
Fabian Let me see that ? (He studies the figures).
Maggie Fabian?
Fabian continues to study the figures.
Maggie (a bit louder) Fabian?
Fabian (Shouts) What is it ! Can’t you see I’m looking at this ?
Maggie (sheepishly) I, ‘er, I just wanted to tell you that I’ve cleaned and pressed all your clothes ready for the tour.
Fabian (still studying figures) Yeah, yeah and….
Maggie and I’ve got your favourite sweets for when we`re on the road
Fabian Yeah, and
Maggie and I’m going to get to the coach early on Saturday to save your favourite seat.
Fabian (shocked) Coach! What coach?
Fitz The tour coach, how else are you going to get from town to town?
Fabian (angrily) The tour coach!. Oh please! You said I could have a limo this year. I’m a big star. I’m the star of this show . Without me you’ d be nothing
Fitz I can’t afford it Fabian, not with sales like this.
Fabian It’s all very simple Fitz. No limo, no Fabian, no show.
Fitz and Fabian stare at each other for a moment.
Fitz Ok, (pause) right then. (pause). (To Maggie) You’d better find us a limo Maggie
Maggie but we can’t afford it Mr F
Fitz I know, but what can I do? Just book a limo for him
Fabian looks very smug indeed
Rosie Dad?
Fitz Yes, Rosie.
Rosie He can travel with the rest of us, surely?
Fitz Yes, of course he can but he’s got me over a barrel, and please don’t call me Shirley, not in front of this lot.
Rosie Sorry Dad, but maybe it is the right time to think about the future, you know tomorrow, next week, next year
Fitz What do you mean, Rosie, my love.
Rosie I mean that yesterday’s gone, Dad, you need to think about where we’ll be this time next year. (Pause) You mustn’t stop thinking about tomorrow Dad.
Fitz (Thoughtfully) Wise words Rosie, wise words.
Song 3
Rosie Dad, I’ve got a few things to get before the tour, so I’m going into the West End. I won’t be long (She exits).
Fitz Ok sweetheart, see you later. (He turns to Maggie) I need to check the sound and lighting, where’s Ron, Don and John?
Ron, Don and John enter. Ron carries a clipboard Don has nothing and John has a heavy tool box.
Fitz Ah, there you are Ron, everything OK.
Ron Yeh not bad, but I need to check a few things out. Don, check out mike No 1 for us, will yer.
Don Ok Ron, (He walks up to mike 1, taps it a couple of times) Testin’ testin, seems ok
Ron No , no no, how many times do I have to tell yer. It’s one, two free, testin’ not just testin’, we’re professionals Don, we`re the crew. Do it again.
Don One two free testin, testin,
Ron No , no no, just one testin’. John, you check mike 4 will yer.
John (John goes to mike 4 which is set too high. He stands on his tool box) One two free, testin. Alright boss?
Ron No, it’s not alright, you, my lad are not allowed to say *testin’ until you’re 18, until then it’s just one, two, free’, no testin” , got it? I really don’t know what I’m doin’ ‘ere
Fabian I thought it all sounded fine, Ron
Ron Did you now (Turning away) you big sissy
Fabian I heard that, what d’yer mean?
Ron I said, you’re a bit hissy
Fitz Can you fix that, Ron?
Don Yeah, course he can, Ron can fix anything.
John Yeah with these low impedance mikes you have to increase the attenuation by at least -6db and decease the compression ratio to 3 to 1.
Ron Yeah. I knew that. There isn’t much I don’t know about sound
Maggie (to Fitz and Rosie mimicking Ron) I’ve worked with the best of them you know
Ron I’ve worked with the best of them you know, Eddie Cockroach, Marty Mild
Don Isn’t that Marty Wild ?
Ron No he’s a nice guy when you get to know I’m. (He takes Fitz aside) Now Fitz it’s clear to me that your problem here, is that you keep doin’ the same old stuf and you’re saddled with that has been’ there.
Fitz And I suppose you know all about that, don’t you.
Ron Look, when you`ve worked with all the top acts, like I have, you just know what works and what doesn’t. I’m gonna give you the benefit of my vast experience and let you into a little secret.
John Ron’s a song writer, Ron is.
Don Yeah, a writer
Ron (Produces a tape from his pocket). I can’t deny it, Fitz, on this tape, which is original and the only one in existence are classic songs that I have written songs that have numero uno` stamped all over them.
Don (To Fitz) That means number one in French
Fitz Yeah, I know
Ron You’ve got to listen to this, Fitz , (Ron gives Fitz the tape) and then you’ve got to find a new, young singer to sing them