The classic tale of Puss in Boots, with a host of colourful characters including the Gingerbread Man, loved by everyone, or is he? Will Tom win the hand of the beautiful Princess Pea and will the village stay safe from the Ogre in the castle on the hill? From the team that brought you our most popular script – The Wizard of Oz.
Little Puss (M/F), Puss in Boots (M/F), Gingerbread Man (M), Tom (M/F), The King (M), The Queen (F), Princess Penelopea (F), Miss Muffet (F), Bo Peep (F), Dame Dolly Mixture (M), Polly (F), Del (M), Rod (M), Good Fairy (F), Ogre (M)
6 – M, 6 – F, 3 – M/F
Set – Fairy Tale
An excerpt from Puss in Boots
In front of Blacks, Fairy enters SR
Fairy Welcome, welcome one and all
To where we tell tales, short and tall
It’s a magical story to share with you
Of three brothers, a princess and a heart that’s true
Two of the brothers are silly and slightly mean
Tom the youngest is a dreamer and always keen
Many years ago their father had died
The brothers run his shop and do so with pride
But Tom has bigger dreams and might need a hand
Things often fall through his fingers like sand
I think he can really go far in life
He could have it all, riches, fame and a beautiful wife
But first he must prove he is pure of heart
I’ll send him a test, yes that’s a good start
If he shows kindness to others, especially
He will no doubt fulfil his destiny
So come with us one and all to discover these roots
On an exciting adventure with Puss in Boots!
In the Village, a bakery on one side and the Brother’s Pipe shop on the other. All chorus and Gingerbread man, Polly and Del and Rod are in the song. Polly, Del and Rod exit straight after.
Chorus 1 You were amazing Ginger!
Chorus 2 We love you!
Chorus 3 You rock!
Chorus 4 Will you sign my shirt?
Ginger Guys, guys, too kind, too kind.
Chorus 1 You’re the best Ginger!
Chorus 2 Can we have a selfie with you Ginger?
Ginger With me? Oh go on then, everyone get in (they take a selfie, then he turns to the audience) oh you guys want one too? Go on then, all get in, say Ginger. (he takes a selfie with the audience). Let me introduce myself, I’m the one and only Gingerbread Man, (he walks to one side of the stage and all the chorus follow, hanging on his every word, he stops, notices them and heads to the other side of the stage, chorus again follow) As you can see, I’m the star of Story Brook, everyone wants a piece of me (chorus 3 tries to take a bite of him) Er, what are you doing? (to audience) Let me get rid of them. (to Chorus) I’m going to be giving away copies of my new book ‘Life after the oven, being the most popular man in Story Brook’ at the book store in five minutes, better get a head start. (finger point thing). I’ll see you there.
Chorus all rush off stage left. Lighting and atmosphere changes immediately, stormy sound effect. Ginger switches to Evil
Ginger The villagers make me sick, and you lot are not much better. It’s so draining having to pretend I like them, I mean, obviously they like me, all I hear all day is (mimicking) we love you Ginger, you’re the best Ginger, ugh as if I don’t know that. You lot are the same, all bought tickets to come and see me. Well you’ve seen me now, so clear off!
Ginger I’ve got better things to do, I’m going to be the King of Story Brook before long, do you want to know how?
Ginger I’m telling you anyway, cos it’s in the script. The King and Queen are not getting any younger and they won’t be around much longer, especially if I have anything to do with it. And they have a daughter, Princess Pea, she’s nothing special but she is a princess and I deserve nothing less, plus if I marry her, when the King dies, who will take his place. Me. (evil laugh)
Ginger The King and Queen will give me their blessing, they know I’m the only one who can keep the Village safe from the Ogre in the Castle on the hill, so they’ll have to do whatever I want them to do. Don’t you just love me?
Ginger Shut up! (he exits sl)
Lights return to normal, Dame entrance music plays, Dame enters through the Bakery door
Dolly Ooh that was a lovely welcome my little Apple Dumplings. Let me introduce myself, I’m Dame Dolly Mixture and I love everything sweet, I run the bakery with my assistant Polly. (calling) Polly? Polly? (Polly opens the door to the bakery) Polly, put the kettle on. (Polly goes back inside). Lovely girl, don’t always understand what she’s talking about, she’s a few sandwiches short of a picnic that one but she means well. I’ve been teaching her to bake but she keeps getting it wrong, the other day we made a cake and I asked her to ice it, she put it in the freezer!
Polly (shouting from the door of the bakery) Dame Dolly? Why is this cake £10 when all the others are £5?
Dolly That’s madeira cake (Dolly laughs, Polly goes back inside) I do love a nice cake, I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake, then the Doctor told me I should take the candles off first.
Polly enters with an oversized cup of tea with a large match in it, Dame takes a sip of tea and spits it out, holding up the match
Dolly What’s this?
Polly Match tea, like you asked for.
Dolly I said Matcha tea. (to audience) See what I mean, a few crumbs short of a biscuit.
Polly I’m sorry Dame Dolly, I’m doing my best, I’m trying to learn all the different things we use in the bakery, Do we have to bake today?
As Dame and Polly are talking they are getting the trolley from the wings and setting up equipment
Dame Yes we do
Polly Oh mama mia
Dame Here we go again
Polly My my
Dame How can you resist me? Now the first thing we need is some dough
Polly Money, money, money
Dame Not that kind of dough
Polly I’m sorry, I know I’m not the best at baking but take a chance on me
Dame Stop messing around
Polly Did I go abba-it too far?
Dame Just gimme, gimme, gimme the bowl
Dame puts the big mixing bowl central on the table
Polly Did you always want to be a baker Dolly?
Dame I did, it all started when I was working in the biscuit factory
Polly Is that where you baked the famous Ginger? (Holds up a gingerbread man)
Dame It is
Polly Will you ever tell me how you made him come to life?
Dame It’s a secret that I will not reveal, I’ll tell you when I’m old
Polly So tomorrow then?
Dame Cheeky! Yeah I’ve had a few weird and wonderful jobs, I once worked for this right donut (Holds up a donut) of a man, he had me cleaning his house all day and all night.
Polly Did you make a lot of dough? (Holds up dough)
Dame Did I heck, he was a Jammie dodger (Holds up a Jammie dodger) he paid me in pennies.
Polly Sounds like a right Hobnob (Holds up a Hobnob)
Dame Then there was the time I worked in the petting zoo, I didn’t mind the petting just didn’t like the zoo part.
Polly Did you get to feed a Lion? (Holds up a Lion chocolate bar)
Dame No but I did feed the monkey nuts (Holds up nuts)
Polly What were their names
Dame Oreo (Holds up an Oreo) and Snickers (Holds up a Snickers chocolate bar), their owner had a sweet (Holds up a sweet)tooth
Polly Didn’t you work at a nightclub as well?
Dame I certainly did, the owner was short of bread (Holds up shortbread) so he hired a girl named Cherry (Holds up a cherry) to drum (Holds up a small drum) up more customers
Polly Sounds like he was a trifle (Holds up a trifle) in over his head
Dame He definitely had his finger in too many pies (Holds up a pie) but still the club was a great place if you wanted spotted dick (Holds up a spotted dick cake)
Polly I’ll stick to Fruit or nuts (Holds up a fruit and nut chocolate bar)
Dame I don’t blame you honey (Holds up honey) being a baker is by far the best job I’ve had, I might not be rich (Holds up a rich tea packet of biscuits) but that’s the way the cookie (Holds up a cookie) crumbles.
They do the three clap thing at the end
Dolly (looking towards the store SR) Oh look it’s Del and Rod
Comedy duo entrance music and Del and Rod enter from their shop
Polly I was thinking about you two earlier when I got my buns out, I know how you love my buns, do you want to see them? (she goes to the bakery to get them)
Del I’m in there (rubbing his hands together and heading to follow her)
Rod (looking embarrassed) What right now?
Polly comes back out of the bakery with the tray of buns and hits the door accidently into Del, who doubles over
Dolly Are you alright Del? I’ve got some buns you might like, they’re not as fresh as Polly’s but I’ve got all the right ingredients.
Del (holding his nose and trying to get away) I’m not that hungry anymore Dame Dolly
During this following dialogue, Rod, Polly and Del stand SR and Dolly SL, Rod and Del and talking to Polly and Dolly is answering as if Del is talking to her, Del doesn’t acknowledge Dolly during this.
Rod You’re looking lovely today Polly
Polly Thank you Rod
Del (to Polly) Your eyes are blue like the ocean and darlin’ I’m lost at sea
Dolly (thinking he’s talking to her) Oh thanks, they’re actually more of a hazel brown
Rod (to Polly) I was wondering if maybe one day…
Del (interrupting and taking Polly’s attention) Do you have a plaster cos I scraped my knee when I fell for you
Dolly Er, I might have one, you don’t look like you’re bleeding
Rod We could like go for a walk together or… (Polly is looking shy and happy when Rod is talking to her and frustrated and rolling her eyes every time Del spins her round to talk to him)
Del Your name could be Netflix, cos I could watch you for hours
Dolly Oh I saw a great new crime documentary the other day Del, we can Netflix and chill anytime
Polly What were you saying Rod?
Rod Or maybe dinner?
Polly That would be…(Del spins her back to face him)
Del Are you are parking ticket? Because you’ve got fine written all over you
Dolly (who is wearing a ‘I like cooking with wine’ apron over her costume) Well it actually says wine, but close enough
Rod Just if you wanted to, you don’t have to… (turns away slightly and shy)
Polly I do… (Del spins her back round to face him)
Del So what do you say then? Pick you up at 8.
Polly No, I don’t want to go out with you (she exits)
Rod (thinking she’s talking to him) Oh, ok then, it was just an idea
Dolly I’ll be ready at 8, see you then. Polly, put the kettle on, I’ve got a date at 8. (she exits)
Del Date at 8, who’s mad enough to take her out?
Tom enters with a daisy
Tom She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me… (pulling petals off)
Del She loves you not. (pulling the last petal off) Who is it that loves you or loves you not?
Tom Just the girl of my dreams, I haven’t met her yet
Del What do you possibly have to offer little brother?
Tom (putting his arms around his two brothers) I don’t know, my boyish good looks, my charming ways and my hilarious wit.
Del Never mind the fact you have no money and no prospects
Tom Minor details my brothers, minor details. (putting his arms around his brothers)
Rod You need to spend more time helping us in the shop rather than daydreaming.
Tom The shop’s not my dream, you two run it fine without me.
Del It’s not about dreams, Father left the shop to all three of us, it’s all of our responsibility, not just mine and Rod’s, get your head out of the clouds Tom.
Tom Oh don’t be like that, you know I’ll always help if you need me
Rod We better get back to work
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