Puss in Boots

By Samantha Cartwright & Emma Houldershaw

Plot Summary

The classic tale of Puss in Boots, with a host of colourful characters including the Gingerbread Man, loved by everyone, or is he? Will Tom win the hand of the beautiful Princess Pea and will the village stay safe from the Ogre in the castle on the hill? From the team that brought you our most popular script – The Wizard of Oz.


Little Puss (M/F), Puss in Boots (M/F), Gingerbread Man (M), Tom (M/F), The King (M), The Queen (F), Princess Penelopea (F), Miss Muffet (F), Bo Peep (F), Dame Dolly Mixture (M), Polly (F), Del (M), Rod (M), Good Fairy (F), Ogre (M)

6 – M, 6 – F, 3 – M/F

Set – Fairy Tale

An excerpt from Puss in Boots


Scene 1

In front of Blacks, Fairy enters SR

Fairy  Welcome, welcome one and all 

To where we tell tales, short and tall 

It’s a magical story to share with you 

Of three brothers, a princess and a heart that’s true 

Two of the brothers are silly and slightly mean 

Tom the youngest is a dreamer and always keen 

Many years ago their father had died 

The brothers run his shop and do so with pride 

But Tom has bigger dreams and might need a hand 

Things often fall through his fingers like sand 

I think he can really go far in life 

He could have it all, riches, fame and a beautiful wife 

But first he must prove he is pure of heart 

I’ll send him a test, yes that’s a good start 

If he shows kindness to others, especially 

He will no doubt fulfil his destiny 

So come with us one and all to discover these roots 

On an exciting adventure with Puss in Boots! 

Scene 2

In the Village, a bakery on one side and the Brother’s Pipe shop on the other. All chorus and Gingerbread man, Polly and Del and Rod are in the song. Polly, Del and Rod exit straight after.

Song 1

Chorus 1  You were amazing Ginger!

Chorus 2  We love you!

Chorus 3  You rock!

Chorus 4  Will you sign my shirt?

Ginger  Guys, guys, too kind, too kind.

Chorus 1  You’re the best Ginger!

Chorus 2  Can we have a selfie with you Ginger?

Ginger  With me? Oh go on then, everyone get in (they take a selfie, then he turns to the audience) oh you guys want one too?  Go on then, all get in, say Ginger. (he takes a selfie with the audience).  Let me introduce myself, I’m the one and only Gingerbread Man, (he walks to one side of the stage and all the chorus follow, hanging on his every word, he stops, notices them and heads to the other side of the stage, chorus again follow) As you can see, I’m the star of Story Brook, everyone wants a piece of me (chorus 3 tries to take a bite of him) Er, what are you doing? (to audience) Let me get rid of them. (to Chorus) I’m going to be giving away copies of my new book ‘Life after the oven, being the most popular man in Story Brook’ at the book store in five minutes, better get a head start. (finger point thing).  I’ll see you there.

Chorus all rush off stage left. Lighting and atmosphere changes immediately, stormy sound effect.  Ginger switches to Evil

Ginger  The villagers make me sick, and you lot are not much better.  It’s so draining having to pretend I like them, I mean, obviously they like me, all I hear all day is (mimicking) we love you Ginger, you’re the best Ginger, ugh as if I don’t know that.  You lot are the same, all bought tickets to come and see me.  Well you’ve seen me now, so clear off!

Audience  Boo

Ginger  I’ve got better things to do, I’m going to be the King of Story Brook before long, do you want to know how?

Audience  No

Ginger  I’m telling you anyway, cos it’s in the script.  The King and Queen are not getting any younger and they won’t be around much longer, especially if I have anything to do with it.  And they have a daughter, Princess Pea, she’s nothing special but she is a princess and I deserve nothing less, plus if I marry her, when the King dies, who will take his place. Me. (evil laugh)

Audience  Boo

Ginger  The King and Queen will give me their blessing, they know I’m the only one who can keep the Village safe from the Ogre in the Castle on the hill, so they’ll have to do whatever I want them to do.  Don’t you just love me?

Audience  No

Ginger  Shut up! (he exits sl)

Lights return to normal, Dame entrance music plays, Dame enters through the Bakery door

Dolly  Ooh that was a lovely welcome my little Apple Dumplings.  Let me introduce myself, I’m Dame Dolly Mixture and I love everything sweet, I run the bakery with my assistant Polly.  (calling) Polly? Polly? (Polly opens the door to the bakery) Polly, put the kettle on. (Polly goes back inside). Lovely girl, don’t always understand what she’s talking about, she’s a few sandwiches short of a picnic that one but she means well. I’ve been teaching her to bake but she keeps getting it wrong, the other day we made a cake and I asked her to ice it, she put it in the freezer! 

Polly  (shouting from the door of the bakery) Dame Dolly?  Why is this cake £10 when all the others are £5?

Dolly  That’s madeira cake (Dolly laughs, Polly goes back inside)  I do love a nice cake, I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake, then the Doctor told me I should take the candles off first.

Polly enters with an oversized cup of tea with a large match in it, Dame takes a sip of tea and spits it out, holding up the match

Dolly  What’s this?

Polly  Match tea, like you asked for.

Dolly  I said Matcha tea. (to audience) See what I mean, a few crumbs short of a biscuit.

Polly  I’m sorry Dame Dolly, I’m doing my best, I’m trying to learn all the different things we use in the bakery, Do we have to bake today? 

As Dame and Polly are talking they are getting the trolley from the wings and setting up equipment 

Dame  Yes we do 

Polly  Oh mama mia 

Dame  Here we go again 

Polly  My my 

Dame  How can you resist me? Now the first thing we need is some dough 

Polly  Money, money, money 

Dame  Not that kind of dough 

Polly  I’m sorry, I know I’m not the best at baking but take a chance on me 

Dame  Stop messing around 

Polly  Did I go abba-it too far? 

Dame  Just gimme, gimme, gimme the bowl 

Dame puts the big mixing bowl central on the table 

Polly  Did you always want to be a baker Dolly? 

Dame  I did, it all started when I was working in the biscuit factory 

Polly  Is that where you baked the famous Ginger? (Holds up a gingerbread man) 

Dame  It is 

Polly  Will you ever tell me how you made him come to life? 

Dame  It’s a secret that I will not reveal, I’ll tell you when I’m old 

Polly  So tomorrow then? 

Dame  Cheeky! Yeah I’ve had a few weird and wonderful jobs, I once worked for this right donut (Holds up a donut) of a man, he had me cleaning his house all day and all night. 

Polly  Did you make a lot of dough? (Holds up dough) 

Dame  Did I heck, he was a Jammie dodger (Holds up a Jammie dodger) he paid me in pennies. 

Polly  Sounds like a right Hobnob (Holds up a Hobnob) 

Dame  Then there was the time I worked in the petting zoo, I didn’t mind the petting just didn’t like the zoo part. 

Polly  Did you get to feed a Lion? (Holds up a Lion chocolate bar) 

Dame  No but I did feed the monkey nuts (Holds up nuts) 

Polly  What were their names 

Dame  Oreo (Holds up an Oreo) and Snickers (Holds up a Snickers chocolate bar), their owner had a sweet (Holds up a sweet)tooth 

Polly  Didn’t you work at a nightclub as well? 

Dame  I certainly did, the owner was short of bread (Holds up shortbread) so he hired a girl named Cherry (Holds up a cherry) to drum (Holds up a small drum) up more customers 

Polly  Sounds like he was a trifle (Holds up a trifle) in over his head 

Dame  He definitely had his finger in too many pies (Holds up a pie) but still the club was a great place if you wanted spotted dick (Holds up a spotted dick cake) 

Polly  I’ll stick to Fruit or nuts (Holds up a fruit and nut chocolate bar)  

Dame  I don’t blame you honey (Holds up honey) being a baker is by far the best job I’ve had, I might not be rich (Holds up a rich tea packet of biscuits) but that’s the way the cookie (Holds up a cookie) crumbles. 

They do the three clap thing at the end 

Dolly (looking towards the store SR) Oh look it’s Del and Rod

Comedy duo entrance music and Del and Rod enter from their shop

Polly  I was thinking about you two earlier when I got my buns out, I know how you love my buns, do you want to see them?  (she goes to the bakery to get them)

Del  I’m in there (rubbing his hands together and heading to follow her)

Rod  (looking embarrassed) What right now?

Polly comes back out of the bakery with the tray of buns and hits the door accidently into Del, who doubles over

Dolly  Are you alright Del?  I’ve got some buns you might like, they’re not as fresh as Polly’s but I’ve got all the right ingredients.

Del  (holding his nose and trying to get away) I’m not that hungry anymore Dame Dolly

During this following dialogue, Rod, Polly and Del stand SR and Dolly SL, Rod and Del and talking to Polly and Dolly is answering as if Del is talking to her, Del doesn’t acknowledge Dolly during this.

Rod  You’re looking lovely today Polly

Polly  Thank you Rod

Del  (to Polly) Your eyes are blue like the ocean and darlin’ I’m lost at sea

Dolly  (thinking he’s talking to her) Oh thanks, they’re actually more of a hazel brown

Rod  (to Polly) I was wondering if maybe one day…

Del  (interrupting and taking Polly’s attention)  Do you have a plaster cos I scraped my knee when I fell for you

Dolly  Er, I might have one, you don’t look like you’re bleeding

Rod  We could like go for a walk together or… (Polly is looking shy and happy when Rod is talking to her and frustrated and rolling her eyes every time Del spins her round to talk to him)

Del  Your name could be Netflix, cos I could watch you for hours

Dolly  Oh I saw a great new crime documentary the other day Del, we can Netflix and chill anytime

Polly  What were you saying Rod?

Rod  Or maybe dinner?

Polly  That would be…(Del spins her back to face him)

Del  Are you are parking ticket?  Because you’ve got fine written all over you

Dolly  (who is wearing a ‘I like cooking with wine’ apron over her costume) Well it actually says wine, but close enough

Rod  Just if you wanted to, you don’t have to… (turns away slightly and shy)

Polly  I do… (Del spins her back round to face him)

Del  So what do you say then?  Pick you up at 8.

Polly  No, I don’t want to go out with you (she exits)

Rod  (thinking she’s talking to him) Oh, ok then, it was just an idea

Dolly  I’ll be ready at 8, see you then.  Polly, put the kettle on, I’ve got a date at 8. (she exits)

Del  Date at 8, who’s mad enough to take her out?

Tom enters with a daisy

Tom  She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me… (pulling petals off)

Del  She loves you not.  (pulling the last petal off) Who is it that loves you or loves you not?

Tom  Just the girl of my dreams, I haven’t met her yet

Del  What do you possibly have to offer little brother?

Tom  (putting his arms around his two brothers) I don’t know, my boyish good looks, my charming ways and my hilarious wit.

Del  Never mind the fact you have no money and no prospects 

Tom  Minor details my brothers, minor details. (putting his arms around his brothers)

Rod  You need to spend more time helping us in the shop rather than daydreaming.

Tom  The shop’s not my dream, you two run it fine without me.

Del  It’s not about dreams, Father left the shop to all three of us, it’s all of our responsibility, not just mine and Rod’s, get your head out of the clouds Tom.

Tom  Oh don’t be like that, you know I’ll always help if you need me

Rod  We better get back to work

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