Clue the music

By Samantha Cartwright and Emma Houldershaw

A satirical comedy whodunnit musical. A school reunion that is filled with larger than life characters and all the scandal and intrigue that follow them. During the chaos someone is murdered! But who will it be? And who done it? The only show where YOU decide.

Cast Madame Sapphire (F), Butler (M), Penelope Plum (F), Sarah Peacock (F), Dan Peacock (M), Captain Kyle Mustard (M), James Blanc (M), Beatrice Beige (F), Scarlet (F), Cerise (F), Johnny Black (M), Emerald (F), Chorus

Scenes All one set, a hotel ballroom

An excerpt from Clue the Music


 Scene 1

Stage is set like a hotel function room, main function area in centre, bar stage left, reception stage right.

Butler and Madame Sapphire enter stage left, she is carrying a candlestick which she puts on a table in the bar.

 Butler  Do you have everything ready Madame Sapphire? It has to be perfect, this school reunion could help get the hotel back to its glory days.

Sapphire  Yes, yes, all under control. If things go well, I might be able to afford an extra pair of hands, it’s not easy doing everything myself.

Butler  You’re not by yourself, you’ve got me.

Saphhire  Yes of course, I’ve got you, (under her breath) fat lot of good you are.

Butler  Have you arranged the furniture in the library and the dining room?Sapphire  No they have only hired this room and the conservatory.

Chatter from side of stage

 Butler  Quick, I can hear the first lot of guests arriving, positions.

Sapphire and Butler stand near reception, him behind the desk, her to the side with a tray of drinks, the tray of name badges are on reception. Professor Green and Scarlett enter stage right

Scarlett  It’s sweet of you to say so, I just can’t place you, you say we were in the same class?

Green  Yes, for seven years.

Scarlett  Oh (big fake smile, sees Sapphire with the drinks and goes to her leaving Green behind)

Butler  Welcome to the Red Rum Hotel, if you’d like to find your name on the tray and take your badge.

Sapphire  Would you care for a glass of champagne?

Scarlett  Don’t mind if I do (she takes a glass, doesn’t bother taking a name badge, goes to sit on bar stool 1).

Green  Thank you (he takes a drink and stays near Sapphire)

Penelope enters with chorus group 1, pushing through them

Penelope  Take a name badge and a drink and go and find yourselves somewhere to sit (Chorus group 1 go to

the name badge tray and take drinks and go to table 3 in the bar).

Green  Well if it isn’t Penelope Plum, I must say you’re looking lovely.

Penelope  Name badge!  Where’s your name badge? (to Sapphire and Butler) Why aren’t you giving out the

name badges? I specifically told you over the phone that everyone needs a name badge.

Both  I’m sorry

Penelope  Don’t worry, I’ll do it. (she is snappy and flustered and takes name badges to Green and Scarlett, then goes back to reception).

Beatrice enters, shyly looking for her name badge, Penelope comes over and finds it straight away, chorus group 2 enter and go to table 4

Penelope  There you go, Beatrice Beige, help yourself to a drink.

Beatrice  Err, do you have any orange juice?

Sapphire points to the bar, Beatrice goes and gets an orange juice then goes and sits quietly at table 1, conversation carries on during this.  Sarah and Dan enter, Penelope goes straight over to them, hugs and kisses them both, chorus group 3 also enter and go to the bar.

Sarah  Hi Pen, how’s it going?

Penelope  Don’t ask, when I got here, nothing was ready, they weren’t giving out the name badges, I’m telling you, nothing would ever get done if I didn’t do it myself.

Dan  Same as usual then Penelope, organising the world.

Penelope  You know me Dan. I’ll catch up with you guys in a moment, get yourselves a drink (they take their name badges and drinks and go to table 2)

Kyle enters followed by Cerise and James, last of chorus enter

Kyle  (carrying a keg and funnel, he knocks chorus out of the way as he goes by) Let’s get this party started,

class of 99, it’s gonna be an awesome night.


Scarlett, Kyle, Dan and Sarah sit at table 2, Beatrice goes to table 1. Cerise and Penelope are centre stage, Professor Green and James Blanc go to bar stool 2. Chorus can use tables 3 and 4 and back end of bar area.

Penelope  So Cerise, you’re looking (looks her up and down) enhanced.

Cerise  Thanks, that’s so nice of you to notice.

Penelope  And I’m assuming you didn’t get that tan from round here?

Cerise  (Laughing) you’re so funny, I live in California now, I wouldn’t look this good living round here.

Penelope  Oh yes, I forgot, you married a rich Texan oil tycoon didn’t you? Where is he tonight? You didn’t bring him?

Cerise  Sadly he passed away.

Penelope  (Immediately getting out Dictaphone and turning it on, her tone changes from stand offish to friendly and interested)  I’m so sorry to hear that, wasn’t that your third husband to have died under suspicious circumstances?

Cerise  He was 92, there’s nothing suspicious.

Penelope  And I’m sure the 70 million he left you helped to ease the pain of your loss.

Cerise  You are so right, it really did. Lots of retail therapy, that’s what I needed. And now I’m back, ready to look for husband number four. Speaking of which, rumour has it that the rock star Johnny Black is coming tonight, I’m just dying to see him again.

Penelope  Did you even speak to him when we were at school?

Cerise  As if, I’d never’ve talked to a loser like that, but now that he’s a mega star we’re more in the same league.

Penelope  You’re a glamour model and he’s a worldwide celebrity.

Cerise  I know, it’s got OK magazine written all over it.

Penelope  I have it on good authority that he will be here.

Cerise  Authority? What, like the police told you?

Penelope  Let’s just say, we go way back.

Conversation moves to Sarah, Dan, Kyle and Scarlett, Dan has his arm around Sarah, they are acting like the perfect happily married couple.

Scarlett  How long have you two been married now?

Dan  Thirteen years, and it’s been the best thirteen years of my life (they are a bit gushy he kisses her on the forehead)

Scarlett  Wow, you’d get less for murder (she takes a drag on her cigarette).

Kyle  That could have been me and you Scarlett if you’d played your cards right.

Scarlett  Shame, must’ve been dealt the wrong hand.

Dan  Kyle, you never stood a chance, Scarlett had much better taste than that.

Scarlett  Actually Dan, I’m not sure I did (she gets up and goes to the bar)

Kyle  Yeah, I think I’m in there (he follows Scarlett to the bar).

Sarah  (pulling away from him) get your arm off me, are you going to be like this all night?

Dan  Like what?

Sarah  You were flirting with her, right in front of my face.

Dan  Babe, babe, I was just being friendly, you know what I’m like.

Sarah  Yes, I do know what you’re like, that’s the problem.

Kyle returns to the table

Kyle  Sorry, forgot to ask, anyone for a jaeger bomb?

Sarah  (returning to smiley happy couple) No, we’re fine thanks.

Dan  Yeah go on, I’ll have one. (Kyle goes back to the bar)

Sarah  This evening just gets better and better.

Conversation moves to Professor Green and James Blanc at bar stool 2

James  I must congratulate you on the MP4000 Professor Green, how did you come up with the idea?

Green  Oh, thank you, It’s complicated.

James  Do you remember Beatrice? She was my science partner, she had a similar idea. I wonder if she’s


Green  I’ve never spoken to her before, I wouldn’t know anything about her idea.

Penelope  (coming to the conversation and turning on her Dictaphone) what’s that Professor, you talking about

other people’s ideas?

Green  Nothing Penelope, we’re here to have a good time, not talk shop.

Penelope  (turning to James) What is it you do now James?

James  I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you. (they all pause, look at each other, and then all laugh).

Scarlett comes over to the conversation, stands next to James and taps him on the shoulder.

Scarlett  I don’t remember you from school.

Green  She didn’t remember me either (Scarlett and James are looking at each other and neither take their eyes off each other while Green speaks)

James  That’s me (points at a photo of himself at school that is up near the bar).

Scarlett  Oh, I do remember, all the finer things in life improve with age, what’s your name again?

James  Blanc, James Blanc

Sound of car pulling up, Penelope rushes over to reception, straightening herself up

Kyle  I wonder if it’s my main man, Johnny Black

Emerald enters, everyone is disappointed

Scarlett  Oh, It’s just Emerald.

Emerald  That’s right Scarlett, it’s just Emerald, although I’m not a scared little 12 year old that you can bully anymore. You can knock me down all you like but I’m gonna get back up again, so come on, hit me with your best shot.

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