Cinderella

By Samantha Cartwright and Emma Houldershaw

The traditional tale of Cinderella, with hilarious Uglies Nutella and Bonjella, loveable Buttons, a handsome Prince and plenty of innuendo

Cast

Cinderella (F), Prince Charming (M/F), Dandini (M/F), Fairy Godmother (F), Baron Hardup (M), Buttons (M), Nutella (M), Bonjella (M), chorus and dancers

2 Female, 4 Male, 2 M/F

Scenes – The Village, The Forest, Hardup Hall, The Ballroom

An excerpt from Cinderella

ACT 1

Scene 1

Front of blacks, Fairy Godmother enters SR

Fairy Hello everyone, welcome to the world of Panto once more

Where you will shout out, sing songs and laugh a lot for sure

This is my last job before I hang up my wand for good

But it’s to help a kind, lovely girl who is quite misunderstood

So before I retire to an easier life

I’m going to help this damsel through her worries and strife

It won’t be an easy road, trouble is on the path ahead

Two Ugly sisters who are desperate to be wed

But with my guidance, good friends and lots of laughter

Our beautiful girl should get her happy ever after

I’m jumping way too far into this story

She hasn’t even met Prince Charming in all his glory

So settle in your seats, that includes you fella

While we begin the story of Cinderella

Scene 2

The Village, a village centre with shops or market stalls, Cinderella, Buttons and Chorus

Song 1 

Buttons  (to audience) Hello everyone! Welcome to the village of Rolling-in-Dough, not that we are, everyone’s broke round here and everything’s broke.  I work at Hardup Hall and I’m always having to fix things, I’m not very good at DIY but I managed to attach a piece of wood to another piece of wood.  Nailed it.  We’re so broke we ran out of toilet paper, so we had to start using old newspapers, the Times are rough. We’re so poor people break into our house and leave things.  Oh, where are my manners, I haven’t introduced myself yet, can you guess my name? (stands puffing his chest out which has buttons on his uniform).

Audience  Buttons!

Buttons  Got it in one, my name is Buttons, what’s yours?

Audience  (shout out their names, if they don’t, he encourages them by saying, come on shout them out)

Buttons  Now that we’re friends, can I tell you a secret?  I’ve already got a friend, see that girl over there (points to Cinderella who is chatting to some chorus), that’s Cinderella, she’s my best friend…but she doesn’t know (whispering) I’m actually in love with her (back to normal volume) I bet you never saw that coming.  I don’t want to tell her, at least not yet as I don’t want to ruin our friendship, but sometimes I get so nervous around her that I nearly blurt it out. Hey, I’ve got an idea, you can help me.  Every time I say to Cinderella ‘Can I tell you something?’ you shout out ‘Button it’ and that’ll stop me.  I’ll tell her one day, when the time is right.  Shall we have a little practice? (to Cinderella) Cinders? Come and meet my new friends, say hello to Cinders everyone.

Audience  Hello Cinders

Cinderella  Hello everyone

Buttons  (winking to the audience) Cinders, can I tell you something?

Audience  Button it!

Buttons  Thanks guys

Cinderella  What did you want to tell me Buttons?

Buttons  Oh just that I lost my mood ring and I don’t know how to feel about it

Cinderella  Oh Buttons, you’re so funny. (nudges him gently)

Buttons  (he nudges her gently)

Cinderella (she nudges him)

Buttons (he nudges her and she falls over) Cinders I’m so sorry (he helps her up) What time is the Baron due back?

Cinderella  Anytime now, I’m so excited to see him, he’s been away for so long, and Buttons, I’ll finally get to meet my new step sisters

Buttons  It’ll be so nice for you to have some female company in the house for a change.

Cinderella  I know, we can do makeovers and have girls nights.  Oh, I hope they love animals just as much as I do, they can help me feed the chickens and clean out the stables, it’s going to be just wonderful.  I always wanted a sister and now I’m getting two. (Buttons face falls a little) don’t worry Buttons, you’ll always be my best friend.

Buttons  Cinders, can I tell you something? (going all dreamy)

Audience  Button it!

Buttons  (snapping out of it) Thanks guys

Cinderella  What did you want to tell me Buttons?

Buttons  Never trust an atom, they make up everything.

Chorus 1  (coming forward and talking to Buttons) Buttons, are you joining in the hunt later?

Sound effect of hunting horn and everyone on stage leans to the side and puts their hand to their ear

Chorus 2  I heard Prince Charming is leading it

Chorus 3  He’s so dreamy

Chorus 2  And he’s so rich

Chorus 3  The perfect man

Cinderella  He can’t be that perfect if he’s into hunting.

Buttons  Not that kind of hunting, it’s a treasure hunt.

Baron Hardup enters

Hardup  Hunting, who’s into hunting?

Cinderella  Father, you’re back, (she runs to him and hugs him) It’s so good to have see you.  Did you have a safe trip?  You must tell me all about it.  Where are my new sisters?

Hardup   I’ve missed you so much, It’s great to be home.  Have you been looking after the animals?

Cinderella  I have father, I’ve learnt so much, I’m another step closer to my dream of becoming a vet

Hardup  That’s very nice dear, but I think for now, you might have your hands full with your new sisters

Cinderella  Oh of course, where are they? (she is excited, Hardup is looking nervously over his shoulder)

Hardup  They’re not far behind, I just need to warn you before they arrive…

Nutella and Bonjela enter to a burst of song to introduce them

Nutella  I can’t believe you left us

Bonjela  We had all these bags to carry

Nutella  Where are the servants?

Bonjela  (spotting Cinderella) Ahh, you, take these bags to Hardup Hall and put them in our rooms

Buttons  (stepping in) It’s ok, I can do that for you (he picks up the cases and takes them off)

Cinderella  I’m actually your new sister, I’m Cinderella.

Nutella  (uglies go either side of Cinderella Bonjela is talking sickly sweet but passive aggressively, Nutella is being nasty but Cinderella doesn’t hear her) Oh Cinderella

Bonjela  So you’re Cinderella

Nutella  Our new sister

Cinderella  (smiling and excited) Yes that me, I’m so excited to meet you, we’re going to have so much fun

Buttons enters and hears the whole conversation

Bonjela  Fun, yes

Nutella  (aside to audience)  Fun for us

Cinderella  I have so much planned 

Bonjela  I love plans

Nutella  (aside to audience)  And we’ve got plans for you

Cinderella  I have a feeling we’re going to be lifelong friends

Bonjela  Besties forever

Nutella  (aside to audience) Bore off Cindersmella

Buttons  Cinders, shall we get the bags home?

Cinderella  Not yet Buttons, I’m talking to my sisters

Bonjela  We have names

Nutella  I’m Nutella

Bonjela  And I’m Bonjela

Cinderella  It’s fate, all our names end in ‘Ella’

Buttons  That’s an ‘ella’ va coincidence (he laughs)

Hardup  Should we be getting home? It’s been a long journey

Nutella  We’ll catch up, we want to check out these shops first

Hardup  (as he’s leaving, shaking his head) I’m not just Hardup by name 

He exits with Cinderella, Buttons and chorus

Blacks close, set the forest scene behind

Bonjela  How much money have we got left?

Nutella  Who cares? Stick it on our new Daddy’s credit card

Bonjela  I love shopping, the other day I was in Primarni and I asked the shop assistant if I could try on the dress in the window. She said no, you’ll have to use the fitting room like everyone else.

Nutella  Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, didn’t know where to go shopping.

Bonjela  Honestly shopping is better than therapy, it costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Bonjela  (noticing audience) Well hello

Nutella  (also noticing audience)  There’s only one thing we like more than shopping and that’s men

Bonjela  Lots of lovely men to choose from here

Nutella  But wait, you don’t know anything about us, let’s introduce ourselves. 

Bonjela  Alec, Alec Trician (asking the technical team) can you give us some lighting that makes us look young and sexy?

Black out

Both  Cheek!

Spotlight on Nutella, voice over in a dating show style

Voice  This is Nutella, Nutella is 22 years old from Rolling-in-Dough, single looking to mingle, Nutella is a fun loving party girl, easily spreadable and may contain nuts

Spotlight off Nutella and onto Bonjela

Voice  This is Bonjela, Bonjela is 21 years old from Rolling-in-Dough, Bonjela is looking for a Sugar Daddy, so if you have a sweet tooth, she may be the oral treatment you need.

Lights back up, projection of a phone screen showing a dating app, scrolling through lots of pictures of men, it ends on a photo of a man who is sitting in the first few rows. Or the last photo is of an unpopular celebrity and the sisters dismiss him and choose someone in the audience

Voice  Let’s see who our computer matches you with.

Nutella  Oh we have a winner, you lucky thing. Bet you’re glad you swiped right

Bonjela  Stand up, what’s your name?

Man  (says his name)

Nutella  Hello ‘name’. I’m Nutella.  Have you ever tried Nutella, lots of people have.  I’m delicious and available.

Bonjela  Bet you wish you chose seats at the back now don’t you?

Nutella  Are you married ‘name’?

Man  No

Nutella  You might be by the end of the night

Or

Man  Yes

Nutella  But not happily.  I could make you happy.

Bonjela  Get comfortable ‘name’ because lucky for you, you’re in the hot seat.

Nutella     I’ll leave you alone for a bit ‘name’.  I’ve been trying to give up inuendo, but it’s hard, so hard. (as song starts) This is for you ‘name’

Curtains close at the start of the song, to set the forest scene behind

Song 2

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