By Louise Archer, Samantha Cartwright and Emma Houldershaw
Plot Summary
Goldilocks & the Three Bears – step right up for a wild ride under the Big Top – where porridge meets popcorn in a magical circus turned madhouse. Expect outrageous comedy, magical madness talking animals and toe-tapping tunes in this laugh a minute family pantomime bursting with heart humour and sequins!
Cast
Madame Fortuna (F), Goldilocks (F), Dame Big Top (M), Little Willy (M), Danny Daredevil (M/F), Daddy Bear (M/F) Mummy Bear (M/F), Baby Bear (M/F), Twist & Tumble (M/F), Malvador (M), Gigi Deville (F), David Hasslehoof (M/F x 2)
3 Female, 3 Male, 8 Male or Female
Scenes In the circus, On the road, Three Bears House, Malvador’s Lair
An excerpt from Goldilocks and the Three Bears
Dame enters to entrance music
Malvador Must that ridiculous music play every time you come on stage?
Dame Of course, it’s panto. (to audience) Where’s my little Willy?
Audience There’s your little Willy.
Malvador Dame Bigtop, have you got any big plans to save the circus yet?
Dame Well, I’ve been working on, I was thinking (fumbling a bit) um
Malvador Didn’t think so, anyway it’s all in hand, I’ve got it covered. What’s going to happen is, we’re holding auditions, I’ve managed to source the most thrilling and talented acts from across the country.
Dame Oh where?
Mavador Stevenage (everyone is really excited) (aside to audience) She’s so dumb she stole a car for gas money. I’ll soon wipe that smile off her face, the acts are so bad, they will destroy the circus and I can take over and be the most powerful Illusionist in the world (laughs) (talking again to the dame) Of course I will be the judge together with Gigi Deville and David, that should give us enough horsepower.
Dame David? Hold your horses, is he up to it.
Mavador There’s more to him than meets the eye, he’s a dark horse that one.
Twist and Tumble enter to a burst of Firestarter doing their new act and its rubbish, no real fire, no talent.
Dame Enough! What is this?
Twist I’m Twist
Tumble And I’m Tumble, together we are
Both Firestarters
Dame What happened to Twist and Tumble the acrobats that you were yesterday
Goldilocks That was last week, yesterday they were tightrope walkers
Willy I liked it.
Dame You didn’t even have any fire
Twist Obviously
Tumble Health and safety, you can’t have fire on stage (acting like duh)
Malvador I think it has potential
Dame Is no one seeing what I’m seeing. (to audience) They were rubbish weren’t they?
Twist and Tumble Oh no we weren’t (encouraging audience to support them)
Dame Oh yes you were (encouraging audience to support her)
All characters support Twist and Tumble so Dame is on her own saying they weren’t good.
Dame Am I the only one with a brain around here, I feel so alone, go away everyone, leave me to it like you usually do, I’ll fix that hole in the tent shall I? I’ll mend the broken seats, I’ll get the audiences coming back.
Malvador (aside to audience) Good luck, you’re gonna need it.
Everyone exits except Dame
Song 2
During the song, it starts with just the Dame, then Willy and gradually builds up to a full cast. Everyone exits.
Madame Fortuna I sense deceit in the air darlings. Something’s not quite right… too hot, too cold. Ahh yes, betrayal that’s just right.Delicious. If you’re a traitor. They are already among us, weaving their web of lies. There are whispers in the wind, footprints in the woods. The traitors are plotting and the faithfuls must be cautious. Goldilocks, may be sweet, but someone’s about to stir the porridge.
Malvador and Gigi enter to traitors music in traitors cloaks from opposite sides and meet in the middle, removed their hoods.
Madame Fortuna You need to make a recruitment.
Malvador I’ve been thinking about this, I know exactly who to choose.
Gigi Do you? Who?
Malvador David.
Gigi David? Are you sure we’re not backing the wrong horse here?
Malvador Trust me.
Madame Fortuna Sign the scroll (hands them a scroll to sign) Let’s welcome your new traitor
Baywatch music plays, David enters with a red lifeguard float in slow motion. With dancers running along beside him also in slow motion, dancers run straight off the other side.
Madame Fortuna David Hasslehoof (she exits)
Malvador Our team is complete, we will bring down the circus, it’s the only way to get rid of that wretched Bigtop family. Stage one, was getting rid of the Three Bears, stage complete. Now stage two is well underway.
Gigi What’s in it for me?
Malvador Once the circus is mine, you will be the star act, as big as the Three Bears were, bigger even.
Gigi I can see it now, my name in lights (the horse nudges her to join in) I will be the star, not you, you’re just a filthy animal (David looks sad). There’s someone coming.
Malvador No one can find out about our plan. (to audience) You lot better keep your mouths shut too (they put their hoods up and exit.)
Goldilocks enters with a bag, looking like she’s sneaking away and trying not to be seen.
Goldilocks (to audience) I don’t trust that Malvador, something’s not right. I’ve got an idea to save the circus, I’m going to go and find the Three Bears and convince them to come back. I have to do something to help, I’m not leaving it to Malvador.
Then Twist and Tumble enter, Twist and Tumble are dressed as strong men, carrying a fake barbell to burst of Harder, better, faster, stronger by Daft PunkTwist What do you think of our new act?
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