In a festive romp where fairytales merge, Jack, the 3 Little Pigs, Red Riding Hood, Snow White, A Golden Goose and SuperGran unite to defeat the wicked Sheriff of Nottingham and his furry sidekicks. Outsmarting wolves, navigating enchanted lands and battling Giants – fairytale magic makes anything possible!
And there’s always gold at the end of the Beanstalk!
Run time: Approx 75 minutes, plus interval.
Character List
Robin Hood, Little Jane (or Little John if male), Nun Tuck (or Friar Tuck), Jill Scarlet (or Will Scarlet), Alan A Dale (optional, non speaking), Much Miller (optional, non speaking), Villagers (doubled with Elves), SuperGran, Jack, Nellie KnitWit, Daisy Moo, Sheriff of Nottingham, Big Bad Wolf, Little Bad Wolf, Little Pig 1, Little Pig 2, Little Pig 3, Red Riding Hood, Witch, Hansel, Gretel, Snow White, 7 Elves: (Brainy, Stompy, Shy, Giggle, Dozy, Dippy and A’Tissue), Giant – Hugh Mongous, Mrs Mongous, Goldy the Goose
An excerpt from Jack and the Beanstalks
ACT 1
Prologue
A Village on market day.
Villagers come on slowly, singing a rousing opening number
SONG 1
Robin Hey, look. (he waves madly through auditorium) Hi SuperGran!
SuperGran enters through audience
SONG 2
Robin Hang about! Look out! It’s Super Gran!
All Woo Hoo! Yay (etc)
S.Gran (She bustles on through the audience) Ohh, I say. This is a good turnout. (Ad lib.) Oh, that’s a nice jumper! Where are you from? Oh no, (shouts to backstage) watch out – the …(‘local reference’.) lot are in today! You’ve got custard on your jumper (as person looks down, touches his/her nose) ‘Ha ha – gotcha! Hello … Hello! Robin’s got his merry band for tea! Let’s give him a shout. I need to warn him. Watch out Robin, that horrid Sheriff of Nottingham is around here somewhere. Let’s shout to Robin, “Watch out, watch out – the Sheriff’s about!”
All “Watch out, watch out! The Sheriff’s about!” Come on, you lot. I don’t think he heard; Give it some wellie, he’s such a nerd!
Encourages audience to shout to Robin Hood & villagers
S.Gran After 3. 1, 2, 3 … “Watch out, watch out! The Sheriff’s about!”
Robin Hood Oh heck! I’m off. Thanks you lot!
Robin exits quickly, SR, followed by 3 of his Merry Band. SuperGran reaches the front of the stage.
S.Gran That Sheriff’s such a meanie! Do you know, he’s desperate to get his hands on my very dear sister Nellie Knitwit’s farm, and her idiot boy Jack. Unless they can make some money soon – they’ll lose their home. Aawwww! (Encourages audience to join in)
Oh come on – keep up! … they’ll lose their home! Awww!
Jack Runs on through audience. As he reaches the stage he wipes his nose on his sleeve
Jack SuperGran – the Sheriff is following you!
S.Gran Disgusting boy. Where’s your hanky?
Jack I’d better go and get it (He runs off)
S.Gran That’s Jack. Nellie Knitwit’s boy. Please boys and girls – remind him to use his hanky. Every time he wipes his nose on his sleeve. You don’t! You’re as bad as he is. You should always carry a hanky.. ‘be prepared’ – isn’t that your motto? Or is it “Lend a Hand-key”. Just ask him – Where’s your Hanky? Can you do that? Brilliant. Let’s try it: (She wipes her nose on her sleeve, and shouts.) Where’s your hanky? Come on – I know you can shout louder that that. After 3 – 1, 2, 3 …Where’s your Hanky. That’s better. Uh Oh! Here he comes – that wicked old Sheriff, with his cricketing cronies – LBW and BBW. Big Bad Wolf and LIttle Bad Wolf. Cricketing reference? Oh never mind! Come on – let’s show him what we think of him …. BOOOOO! Come on! BOOOO! Right – I’m off before he tries to give me a huge tax bill.
SGran exits SR. Sheriff of Nottingham enters SL, ringing a school bell. He is followed by BBW and LBW holding cricket bats, collecting taxes from the poor villagers, who gradually leave. Ad lib, to audience:
Sheriff Ohh, boys, look at these lovely new prospective tenants! Do you
live here? Would you like to buy a nice new flat in the middle of Bratton Clovelly? No? What about you? Okehampton? We’ve some lovely new prison cells … I mean starter homes being built there very soon.
BBW (nudges Sheriff) Boss, boss. Dinner?
LBW Yes, we’re hungry! Can we eat them yet?
Sheriff No, no, no! We must wait until they’ve got no money to pay the rent, then you can eat them.
The wolves look at the audience, and lick their lips.
Sheriff (to villagers remaining on stage) Come on. Pay up you lot.
Villagers run off SR, chased by Sheriff, BBW & LBW.
Scene 1
Nellie Knitwit’s farmhouse. Nellie Knitwit is hanging out the washing. Jack runs on …
Jack (To the audience) The Sheriff is coming. Quick hide!
He tips out washing, sits on floor and puts basket over his head.
Nellie Jack, Jack! (She looks around for him. Shakes her head) I’m sure I heard him coming. (She sees the audience) Oh, hello there. Have you seen my Jack? He’s always off with his mates in the woods when there’s work to do. When you see him – let me know, won’t you.
Jacks lifts up the basket that he is hiding under, and puts his finger to his lips.
Jack (loudly) Shhhhh! (He hides again.)
Nellie Gosh, is it getting windy today? Or was that you? (points to a member of the audience)
Nellie Well, if you see my Jack, you will let me know won’t you. It’s time I showed him how to milk Daisy Moo.
She picks up the basket off Jack’s head, and goes off.
Jack Thanks for not letting on. That’s my mum – Nellie Knitwit. Now,
welcome to our farm. Not that it’s much of a farm – we’ve only got Daisy Moo. She’s our cow. She likes singing, and won’t come out to be milked unless we sing to her. Will you help me? Words are on the songsheet. Brilliant ….
Audience participation
SONG 3
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